278 Reasons for Joy
I'll be the first to complain about lockdown. It's been hard on all of us for various reasons. Zoom is not "real" contact, balancing work and normal life (kids for me) is hard, assessments are always looming, and the anxiety of the unknown hangs over our heads. I feel so much quicker to anger, lacking in patience, and just plain grumpy. Like, all the time.
52 days (and counting) in lockdown, though, haven't really changed who I am. I don't know about you, but lockdown has just catalysed the process of bringing out what's within, quickly exposing who I am beneath it all. Some of what comes out is worrying, and some is actually not that bad. I have a shorter fuse these days, and I'm tired. But there is joy to be found.
Whenever we get to the point where we can evaluate this current lockdown and it's cumulative effect on our psyche, I believe I will remember it relatively fondly. Johnny, our nearly-three-year-old is no longer taking an afternoon nap, he's fully toilet trained, can play independently for long periods of time, and he has more than doubled his vocabulary. Meanwhile, Raya, our five-and-a-half-year-old, can seamlessly ride a bike, absolutely destroy me in Uno, and ask Alexa to play 80s rock. All these I count as parenting wins in the most recent lockdown.
So while I often feel like whatever shred of sanity I had before 17 August quickly disappeared within the first couple hours, this time has really been amazing, full of wonderful memories. This morning I scrolled back through my photo album on my phone and recounted some of these memories. My kids learning how to love one another more, them getting to see my 95 year-old grandmother on numerous occasions via FaceTime, epic Lego palaces my daughter made, and so many more.
278 pictures since this lockdown began, a small sample of a blessed life. 278 reasons for joy.